The experience of coming out for those that fall under the LGBTQIA umbrella is as varied as the identities that constitute our community. Cisgendered, heterosexual society attempts to confine these experiences to the drama filled stories of the ultimate “success” story of acceptance, or rejection and violence. Scrutiny is not given to the subtle actions that undermine our identity and agency made by even the most supportive of allies. Paradoxically, within the queer community the pervasive lack of mutual support is disregarded. There are many systems of privilege that produce such an atmosphere, but in large it is a product of the disconnect between our language and its effects.
As someone who is neither a man nor a woman, the experience of being misgendered, or in this case gendered, is a very direct and immediate dismissal of my reality made all the more poignant when enacted by those who claim to be an ally. Using bread dough as a means to both create and destroy parts of my body, “Nine Months of the Same Conversation” was made at a point when there was very little reciprocation on my request to not be referred to with gendered pronouns.